SIXTEEN TEAMS AND WHADDA YA GET?

A crappy bracket and $20 dollars deeper in debt. NCAARRGGHH!!!
As the dust settles after a dizzying upset-laden first two rounds of the NCAA tournament, and the smoke clears after burning my horrible bracket sheets, let's take a look at who's still alive in the NCAA tourney. All the #1 seeds advanced, including Villanova, who beat a scrappy Arizona team on Sunday to make it to the Sweet 16. (I don't understand how a #1 seed who wins two games gets rewarded by having to travel to Minnesota, while #11 George Mason gets to play at home in D.C., but maybe that's just me.) While the Ron Mexico bracket got Pittsnogeled, the District is missing their #2, #3 and #4 seeds, which should make it relatively easy for UConn to reach the Final Four (if GAY decides to play like a MAN). The Black Hole features an intriguing #3 Gonzaga/#2 UCLA matchup, and the weakest #1 seed, Memphis, gets a pesky Bradley Braves team.

Speaking of, the Missouri Valley Conference made the most of their at large bids, with Bradley and Wichita State playing excellent ball, causing Jim Nantz to, uhm, sort of apologized, saying his "words didn't play in Peoria". I guess he was trying to be funny (Bradley is located there), but JUST ONCE I wish these guys would say, "I was completely wrong, sorry about ripping the selection committee, great job guys!" But at least he said SOMETHING; Billy Packer, on the other hand, was completely silent regarding the matter. Oh, and while we're at it, screw the Big Ten (the #1 conference according to the RPI, which means it's as good a statistical tool as the useless BCS) and all their crappy bracket-killing teams (bye bye, Ohio State, Iowa, Illinois, and Indiana!). And let's face it, the ACC only sent Duke to the Sweet 16, because BC is still a Big East team as far as I'm concerned.

Again, what is the argument for wanting more big conference teams and less mid-majors in the Dance? The whole reason we watch is for the chance that these smaller schools will knock off the big guys, like Northwestern State burying a 3 from the corner to beat Iowa, and Bradley completely outplaying both Kansas and Pitt. We tune in to watch the underdogs try to pull off the huge upset, like the Albany Great Danes hanging tough against UConn, even though we know they were going to lose since Scooby Doo is their mascot. Personally, I want to watch a tournament that features schools from every conference, including those I didn't know existed and certainly couldn't locate on a map, because that's what makes it the greatest sporting event in the world. Otherwise, let's call it the "ACC/Big Ten/Big 12/Big East/Pac 10/SEC Bracket Challenge", and send everyone else to the NIT.

Our annual First Round Friday was another successful endeavor, with James Joyce hosting this year's festivities. It did get off to a slow start, though, as Rob called a cab to pick us up from his apartment, and the driver promptly missed the entrance to the Tappan Zee Bridge. When we pointed this out, he said "he had to get gas"--fair enough, since it's not a short trip. But after driving past 3 gas stations and back into the town of Nyack, we asked him where in hell he was taking us. He then explained that he got a ticket while picking up his lunch, and and he had to go back to talk to the cops. Are you kidding me? And when exactly was he planning on telling us this? So I told him just to drop us off at O'Malley's, and from there we WALKED to another cab company to finally get over the river. Unbelievable.

Anyway, all was well once we finally made it to White Plains, and our enviable spot at the end of the bar at JJ was hard to beat (and it was a good place for Sean Keenan to spend his first St. Patrick's Day). It ended up being a 9 hour long drink-a-thon, which prompted Rob to ask the next day if he'd been hit by a bus; I couldn't remember, but I know we were hit with 4 cabs. However, the next morning I ended up with an expected hangover and an unexpected $20 parking ticket. That's what I get for doing the right thing, not driving and crashing at Rob's place, and committing the sin of leaving my car there from 3:00-6:00 AM. This is one reason why people end up drinking and driving, because they make it so incredibly difficult and expensive. Why can't cities pay for the cabs? They make more than enough money on parking tickets (which go up every month, it seems). Or make it a free service as long as the bar calls the cab for you, and give them a tax break in return. Instead, I get an "alternate side" ticket for sleeping it off. Seriously, did they want me to get behind the wheel after drinking all day? You can't win.

Just a couple of questions for CBS regarding their NCAA coverage:

1) Why is it so hard to figure out what games are going to be on? Yes, the highest seeded team of local interest is usually featured, but on Thursday I realized late in the game that the CBS analog channel was showing a different game (Iona vs. LSU) than the HD channel (George Mason vs. UNC-Wilmington); of course, nobody mentions this, and there's no easy way to find out this info. Why must they treat it as if it's a big secret? And while the MMOD was pretty good, it blacks out the game that the local affiliate is showing--I thought the point was that you could watch this if you WEREN'T near a TV.

2) Can we show more of the actual game, instead of constant cutaway reaction shots of the coaches' wives (I could honestly pick the Alabama and UCLA wives out of a lineup, if necessary) and Rollie Massimino?

3) When a team calls a 30 second timeout at the very end of a tight game, JUST ONCE CAN YOU STAY WITH THE GAME INSTEAD OF SHOWING ANOTHER FRIGGING COMMERCIAL? I know, you guys paid $8 billion for the tourney, but how about you let the game breathe a little, so we can feel a little of the tension in the arena, take a look at how the two teams and see how they're setting up to win the game, instead of interrupting it to cram another ad down our throats? And it's the same sickening commercials over and over again, the worst of which is the "Applebee's guys", as Deadspin would concur. Watching/listening to those two fucking dorks not only DOESN'T make me want to eat shrimp at that awful restaurant, it also makes me want to blow my brains out. Of course, not before I shoot them both first . . . after which I would probably feel considerably better and change my mind about killing myself.

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I realize that this blog entry is a little NCAA-centric, so let me mix it up a little with some golf and mention how awful I felt about Greg Owen's collapse on the 17th and 18th holes at the Bay Hill Tournament yesterday. The article and accompanying photo says it all.
Standing on the tee at the par-3 17th hole, Owen was cruising along at 6-under par for the day, and he led Pampling by a stroke after beginning the final round four behind the determined Aussie. Though Owen missed the green just short, Pampling's approach sailed long and eventually he bogeyed. After a stellar chip to three feet, Owen had destiny on his putter. Make the putt and he is up two with one to go.

But he missed the putt. Then, without lining up the 2-foot comeback try, he inexplicably missed again, the ball circumnavigating the cup and sitting defiantly on the lip. Double bogey. The two men were tied. Owen was tied up in knots.

Even Pampling was in shock. "You never want to see anyone do that," he said. Pampling would make a routine par at the 18th. Owen, after hitting his second shot on the difficult par-4 home hole into the back left bunker, splashed out to 13 feet. His par putt to tie was in ... until the last few inches, and then it, too, hit the lip and spun out. After firing a third-round 67 that put him in the third of the hunt Saturday, Owen, who has a home in nearby Windermere, said, "the golfing gods will tell me if it's my time to win."

We've all had something similar happen to us, but a horrible three-putt never cost anyone $396,000 dollars. In fact, I felt worse for him than I did for Iowa Hawkeyes fans on Friday.

This final story is something that filled me with great joy: I know, it's way too freaking early to talk about the NFL, but the Dallas Cowobys signed Terrell Owens for three years. It couldn't happen to a nicer team! Considering his track record, seeing how SF and Philly ended up after he left, and adding his tremendous ego to those of Jones and Parcells, how could anything possibleye go wrong? Uhm, possibly. Anyway, good luck, Bill!