2006 MASTERS WRAPUP: A BLOG ENTRY UNLIKE ANY OTHER

Congratulations to Phil "FIGJAM" Mickelson, winner of the 2006 Masters. I honestly didn't think he had it in him, but he held off all comers and took home the hideous green school boy sportcoat. (Check out Tiger's face in this low quality pic from my HD screen, in which he looked thrilled to be involved the ceremony; I call it "Stink Eye of the Tiger".)

No one was really a threat to challenge Lefty today, and he played bogey free golf (until the 18th, when it was all but decided). Although Tigs hit the ball well today (he hit a 3 wood 328 yards on the 10th fairway--yikes), his substandard Nike putter let him down (after a closing birdie putt on the 18th, caddie Steve Williams even jokingly grabbed it and pretended to break it over his knee--oh, the comedy). Everyone else self-destructed (Rocco sank three balls on the 12th to card a 10).

You might have sensed that I wasn't really rooting for Phil and his goofy ass smile. But I was also getting an anti-Phil sentiment from the CBS commentary. First of all, they were constantly gushing over how well Freddie and Tiger were hitting the ball, while saying "Phil isn't making any mistakes, and we expect him to, that's his game!". Dave Feherty at one point on the back nine said, "Well, 3 years ago we would have been wondering how Phil could lose this." (I was thinking the same thing, only 3 hours ago.) And they were constantly playing up the "Freddie would be the oldest to win a Masters", "Freddie is the same age that Jack was when he won 20 years ago" angle, to the point that it was sickeningly one-sided. I half expected a sappy Jim Nantz to kneel down and smooch his 46 year old ass at one point.

Overall, despite the commentators gushing over the golf course, and using the word "tradition" until it had lost all meaning, the CBS HD broadcast itself did not disappoint. You could even see the fat people in the crowd quite clearly, and there were a lot of them. How about you walk the course next time you're at a golf event?

BTW, if you haven't noticed already, if I root against someone (or pick someone to win), the opposite always happens. So shoot me an email if you're about to play in a big golf tournament, bowling match, darts competition, Scrabble game, it doesn't matter. For a marginal fee, I'll endlessly rip on you on this blog, virtually guaranteeing your victory (not a guarantee)! Good luck.

FIGJAM wins again, his second major in a row, and 3 of the last 9. Meh. Whadda ya gonna do? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go "take care of" a few of my friends in Jersey (Rangers @ Devils, "The Sopranos").