MASTERS UPDATE

We're less than a day away from the 70th Masters Tournament in Augusta, and the course changes seem to be dominating the pre-tourney buzz. Tiger Woods was trying to be diplomatic and saying he "wants to be invited back", but he's not happy with the changes, saying they didn't need to "to mess with" the 4th hole, and he liked the 7th, now 40 yards longer, the way it was. Kenny Perry is vocal about them too, saying that length is going to be an issue, and that the greens are going to be difficult to hold, with Stimpmeter reading of 12 to 14 (of course, he's not even playing, so he should be quiet). Add to that the fact that the conditions have been dry in Augusta all week, and there's no sign of rain this weekend, it should be fast and firm.

Apparently, tournament co-founder Bobby Jones didn't like trees and rough, but that's what they've added to this historic course in the past few years to "technology proof" it. Bobby couldn't be reached for comment, and neither could good ol' boy Hootie Johnson, who reportedly could fucking care less what you think. Meanwhile, John Daly looks like he's in shape, and that shape would be "round". Have another free bucket of Hooters wings, Mr. Daly!

Some players have resorted to club changes to get an edge: long-haired, geeky-visor-wearing lefty FIGJAM has decided to go with two Callaway Fusion FT-3 drivers (one to give him a power fade, and another that draws) and will be driving a Ford Fusion while using a Fusion razor; Els is going with a seldom-seem-on-tour 5-wood for the 240 yard 4th hole. I don't think the length is going to be the biggest factor, it's going to be accuracy: keeping drives in the fairway, and hitting greens in reg. Straight hitters with good short games, like Olazabal, Donald and Weir, should do well. I just hope it doesn't turn cartoonish like the U.S. Open in Shinnecock, where the greens were like glass.

This is the only major tournament where former champions have a lifetime invitation to play if they choose. For the first time in over 50 years, old timers Jack and Arnie are skipping this one, but Gary Player will be competing in his 49rd Masters (you can even bet on him to win it all, at up to 5000/1 odds). This year is also the 10th anniversary of Greg Norman's famous collapse. His first round was a course record 63, and after three rounds he was 13 shots up, and 6 shots clear of the nearest competitor. However, he suffered a meltdown in the final round, going from 6 up to 2 down over the first 12 holes, ending with a brutal 78 to give the win to Nick Faldo in a playoff. I remember feeling genuinely bad for the Shark.

ROOKIE TO WATCH: Henrik Stenson, a 29 year old Swede who is a long hitter (going with a 4 iron on the aformentioned 240 yard 4th) and played well at the 2005 PGA until late (I remember shrugging when seeing his name on the leaderboard). I think he should be pumped after the Swedish hockey team won gold back in February.

INTERESTING NOTE: Players in the field of 95 will be representing 21 different countries this year, a Masters record.

_______________________
PGA STATISTICAL LEADERS
Money Leader: Rory "Dolan's" Sabbatini - $2,219,295
Total Cuts Made: Bo "Linus" Van Pelt - 9
Average Drive: Bubba "Burgers" Watson - 319.32 yards
Average Putts: Scott "Walk" Verplank - 1.687
Driving Accuracy: "We Want" Fred Funk - 78.4%
Scoring Average: FIGJAM - 69.15
Greens In Regulation: FIGJAM - 73.4%
Scrambling: Brian "I'm Not" Gay - 67.7

OFFICIAL WORLD RANKINGS
Rank Player Country Avg. Pts.
1 Tiger Woods USA 18.09 795.80
2 Vijay Singh Fij 8.72 558.09
3 Retief Goosen SAf 8.28 430.49
4 Phil Mickelson USA 8.13 374.05
5 Ernie Els SAf 7.07 332.35
6 Sergio Garcia Spn 6.58 309.41
7 Jim Furyk USA 5.60 263.01
8 David Toms USA 5.54 288.10
9 Luke Donald Eng 4.86 257.75
10 Chris DiMarco USA 4.72 240.82
11 Adam Scott Aus 4.70 230.25
12 Henrik Stenson Swe 4.33 225.41
13 Colin Montgomerie Sco 4.25 234.00
14 David Howell Eng 4.17 224.96
15 Darren Clarke Nir 4.16 199.87
16 Jose Maria Olazabal Spn 4.07 228.10
17 Kenny Perry USA 3.94 169.39
18 Davis Love III USA 3.93 196.72
19 Geoff Ogilvy Aus 3.93 219.87
20 Chad Campbell USA 3.89 210.29