DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOUR ASS AS YOU LEAF

The Toronto Maple Leaves have fired coach Pat Quinn. This is the one blognostication I happened to get right. Back on April 3, I said: "Expect him to be shown the door around 1:00 PM on April 19th", so I was roughly 24 hours off. Quinn was an old school coach who ran a team of thugs, and had no business being in today's NHL. Good riddance!

Speaking of blognostications, Rob V. told me before the baseball season started that the New York Mets are going to run away with the National League East division (yes, this was before they started 10-2). All I have to say is they have a new song called "Our Team. Our Time." and it's fucking awful (even the punctuation sucks). That sums it up for me; it no longer feels like "my Mets", but rather a product that's being marketed to a demographic that I don't belong to anymore.

* One of the villagers caught in the Danube River flooding in Romania told Reuters:"Life is a curse. Floods are a curse and God is angry now on the eve of Easter." Geez, lighten up, you're still alive! Oh wait, if life is a curse, then that's not going to help to console you. Eh, I got nothing.

* It's getting to the point that you need a glossary while watching the news to figure out what's going on. For instance, when did the term "suspect" become replaced by "person of interest"? Was there a very special episode of "CSI" that explained that? Because I guess I missed the announcement. By the way in France, "CSI" is known as "The Experts", because those French always have to be fucking different.

* I don't have a patio/deck that needs to be cooled by up to 20 degrees and shielded from the sun's rays, but dammit those commercials are so persuasive that I feel I must buy a SUNSETTER RETRACTABLE AWNING. Especially after Harry told me about the discount!

* VOICEOVER: From the network that brought you "Deal or No Deal".
Well, you lost me there, but okay, what now?
VOICEOVER: It's the most exciting show ever: Celebrity Cooking Challenge!!!
Good god, this country is mentally retarded.

* Apparently, Duke lacrosse merchandise is selling like crazy on ebay. Maybe that lady was right, life is a curse.

Final tally for the MAGIC AT MSG contest: congratulations to the Knicks, who lost 59 games, while Jagr scored 54 goals. It was a tight race, but I knew the K-men could stink up the place.

As for the NHL regular season, you have to love the names of the trophies given out for individual achievements, but how much teasing do you get when you win the "Lady Byng"?

Anyway, I think Jagr should win the Hart (MVP), since he and his 123 points (54G-69A) is the biggest reason the Rangers are where they are; as far as I'm concerned, Cheechoo (RICHARD winner, Most Goals, 56) and Thornton (ROSS Winner, Most Points, 125) cancel each other out. Ovechkin (52G-54A) looks like a cinch to win the CALDER for Rookie of the Year. Kiprusoff already has the JENNINGS (fewest goals against), so guess who I'm giving the Vezina?

Let's break it down:

HART (MVP): Jagr, NYR
CALDER (ROOKIE): Ovechkin, WAS
LADY BYNG (MOST GENTLEMANLY): Richards, TB
SELKE (DEFENSIVE FORWARD): Brind'Amour, CAR
NORRIS (BEST DEFENSEMAN): Lidstrom, DET
VEZINA (GOALIE): Brodeur, NJ
MASTERSON: Yzerman, DET
ADAMS (COACH): Lindy Ruff, BUF

I was going to do a Stanley Cup playoff preview, but I suck at predictions . . .