FIGJAM HAS SWITCHED TO WATER

We have a new winner. We weren't happy with the new phrases ("busted the condom", "screwed the pooch") that replaced "jump the shark", so Karl coined a new one: "switching to water". It's the line you use when you're done drinking for the night, and it works perfectly in this context. "Yeah, when Mulder left the show, 'The X-Files' totally switched to water." Nice.

So it turns out that I'm not the only one non-plussed by FIGJAM's second Masters win yesterday. Describing Phil's victory, Deadspin says: "Bland, safe, predictable, corporate, boring. He’s just another dopey tan white-guy golfer with a pretty wife, a history of gambling problems and a creepy smile." I knew these guys would have my back. And for the record, a Yahoo poll asking "Who's the best player in the world now?", 68% still say Tiger. So I guess the public perception is that the Augusta course took everyone down at the Masters, and not Phil; he merely just survived. So until FIGJAM eliminates Tigs head-to-head, outshooting him down the stretch in a major tournament, and then has his kids trample all over him in unadulterated glee, only then will he be the true #1. Anyway, hopefully we now have some sort of golf rivalry here.

I still think Phil should shave his head down to the skin, replace 20 pounds of fat with muscle, wear a real hat, wipe that goofy grin off his face, and start dropping f-bombs during every interview. Instead, he whined "Come on, for crying out loud!" like a little schoolgirl when someone snapped photos of him during his backswing on Sunday. It's just hard to get excited about him.

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I had to include this link. It's a "recreation" of Game 6 of the World Series, Red Sox vs. Mets at Shea Stadium, using the original Nintendo game "RBI Baseball" synched with Vin Scully's play-by-play. I found myself sitting and watching for the full 9 minutes, thoroughly engrossed, wondering how it was going to turn out. Yeah, and I was watching it as it happened back in 1986. Sad. Well, I also used to play RBI Baseball way too much with my friend Chris Gerber back in the 80s, so it was extra poignant. I give this my highest rating: 9 thumbs up.