NO RUFF LOVE FOR FLYERS

That's right, Philly: Lindy Ruff thinks you're a bunch of idiots.

Everyone already knew this about the Flyers, but we don't get a chance to tell the press. TSN's Bob "Great White North" McKenzie is calling the Flyers' Gauthier's hit on Varek in Game 2 a cheap shot, and goalie Anne Esche (I loved her in "Six Days Seven Nights") picking a fight was embarrassing, and would have been more meaningful if he hadn't just given up 5 goals on 4 shots. Ken Hitchcock's response to the fact that his team was out of control? "Tell Lindy to fuck off, to mind his own fucking business." It's just what I've come to expect from the classy world of Philadelphia sports. Idiocy aside, their goaltending imploded, like it usually does in the playoffs. Apparently, they wanted to send a "message" for the Umberger hit, and all Buffalo wanted to do was send a message by scoring goals, which appeared to be the better strategy.

So far the Avs are doing what I told them, up 2-0 against Dallas, and Edmonton is putting up a fight, getting a split in Detroit. Overall, I'm really suprised by Montreal; even though they went on a nice run to get the #7, I don't think they're all that great, though they have plenty of time left to prove that.

I'll be honest with you: I'm still afraid of the Rangers. Jagr's demise has been greatly exaggerated. They'll announce to the 174 press outlets in New York that he's not going to play tomorrow, but suddenly he'll limp out of the tunnel before the 3rd period like Willis Reed, with the Devils up by two, and score a hat trick. Plus, the Devils 13 game win streak has to end some day, and don't forget that the Rangers were the team to snap their 9 game streak back in February. Before you know it, this series could be tied up 2-2.

Canadians are so damn proud and provincial, you've got to love them. They're so busy with their maple syrup, Rush albums, and national health care that they apparently don't have time for hockey playoff series featuring non-Canadian teams. Well, excuse me if Edmonton, Montreal, Ottawa, Calgary, Moose Jaw, Yellowknife, Moncton, Thunder Bay, Halifax, and/or Mississauga are not represented in every NHL postseason game, but if that's what you base your viewing on, you're missing some good hockey.

(By the way, I feel sorry for people who come to this blog looking for hockey news, videos, and insight--I'm really just a buffoon who happens to enjoy hockey. The name of the blog was initially just a pun, and I could go whole months without mentioning hockey at all. If you did accdientally come here looking for hockey stuff, I apologize, but at least I hope you enjoyed your stay.)

WRIST SHOTS . . .
> Advertisement spotted at the Calgary hockey game: BOSTON PIZZA. Huh? I have NEVER had a good pizza in Boston, and Lord knows I've tried. But then again I've never been treated to an authentic Western Canadian pie, so it could be an improvement over what they've currently got.

> Despite what the commercials tell you, Coach K does NOT drive a Chevy truck, and Derek Jeter does NOT drive a Ford Fusion. How many suckers show up at the Ford dealership saying, "Gimme da car dat da CAPTAIN drives!" Phil "FIGJAM" Mickelson, however, does drive a Ford Fusion, because he's a sissy.

> I have a name for a new website for seniors looking to meet new people: carbondating.com.

> "The Sopranos" has had its good and bad moments, but there are few shows during which you can witness Ben Kingsley dropping f-bombs, Lauren Becall dropping f-bombs after getting punched and mugged, and Frankie Valli getting whacked. And that was just this past week's EPISODE. Oh and apparently David Chase's vision of a "gay bar" is a whole room of leather-clad extras from the Blue Oyster Bar scene from "Police Academy". Good times in Jersey.

> If you were to write a book about Manny Ramirez, what reading level would you shoot for? The Story of Manny Being Manny" by Todd Balf is, naturally, aimed at 6-7 year olds, which is the approximate mental age of Man Ram and the vast majority of the Red Sox Nation. The irony: they still may not be able to read it. He should start his own children's charity: MAN RAM'S KIDS!

> Hollywood seems to be suffering from a severe case of suckism. Therefore, I have chosen the two main stars for a new buddy movie (if Miami Vice is alreday filmed, that is): Gary Busey and O.J. Simpson. This should easily gross $75M the first week. Oh, and Hollywood: you're welcome.