BIG BEN BOOM

Steelers QB Ben "Drink Like A Champion Today" Roethlisberger was in a motorcycle accident yesterday morning, colliding face first with a car windshield, breaking his jaw and several bones in his face. He wasn't wearing a helmet, which is ironic because he wears one every day while working for the Pittsburgh Steelers, but not while riding a motorcycle at 70 miles an hour. Although it's probably not a career-ending situation, this ranks right up there on the stupidity meter with Aaron "Fucking" Boone tearing a knee while playing basketball. Shouldn't this kind of thing be prohibited by his contract? This story is dominating the local news in Pittsburgh (currently securing 5 out of the top 8 stories--along with Bush, Baghdad, war, blah blah blah), but you have to feel for them, because he's pretty much all that they've got. Oh, and he apparently didn't have a valid motorcycle license either.

Apparently, John Cleese is retiring from writing and performing in sitcoms. I didn't even know he was on TV, but he's correct when he says that he'll never top Fawlty Towers. (However, his idea to write a instructional comedy book--that was MY idea! Except he sounds dead serious. Hmmm.) It's also probably a good idea for him to stop performing all together, after that atrocious "Monty Python's Personal Best". In between the classic clips, he thought it would be funny to stage a mock Hollywood poolside interview, wherein he screamed redfaced at the maid, pretended to have a young girlfriend, and faked his own death. Turns out, it wasn't funny. But I hear Vermonty Python is delicious!

How about New England's wacky weather?! I happened to be in NH when they got 10" of rain in a weekend (lucky me). Yes, more evidence that the planet is hurtling into the sun. Again, I would suggest SPF 50.

Dramatic bear scare! A black bear was caught in Spring Valley last week, after plummeting 40 feet from a tree after being dazed by a tranquilizer dart.

Best. Quote. Ever. From Morrissey, former lead singer of The Smiths: "I would rather eat my own testicles than re-form The Smiths, and that's saying something from a vegetarian."