STANLEY CUP FINALS GAME 1: WINNING UGLY

With Edmonton up 3-0 with about 5 minutes left in the 2nd in Game 1, I decided to watch a couple of episodes of Deadwood on DVD, and never switched back. As it turned out, I ended up missing a lot, primarily a huge Oilers meltdown.

The Oilers lost 5-4 last night to Carolina in the worst way imaginable. Not only were they up 3-0 and let Carolina back in the game with 4 unexplained goals, but Roloson hurt his knee with 6 minutes left and is out of the finals. After tying it up 4-4, with OT all but assured, backup goalie Ty Conklin played the puck behind the net and made a bad pass to Smith, handing Bit-o-luv the winning goal with 31 seconds left (just look at that photo--DAMMIT, he's hideous). Just plain awful.

Unless Ty Conklin (who I actually saw play for the University of New Hampshire Wildcats) turns out to be the next Patrick Roy, this series is all but over. Barring a miracle, the Hurricanes will win take the Cup and fill it with chewing tobacky or moonshine. Or maybe creamy mashed potatoes, sweet corn, crispy chicken, and top it off with their famous homestyle gravy and a 3-cheese blend, and call it the KFC Caniac Nation Heartstopper Supreme!

In other hockey news, although details are sketchy, the HNA New Jersey Landsharks (16-2-2) reportedly did not play well in the 2005-2006 League Championship Finals in Etobicoke, Ontario. In a recorded statement on Sunday, stay-at-home defenceman Rob Vertullo, who shockingly left home via airplane on Thursday, stated that their lack of effectiveness on the ice may have been due to spending "over 8 hours in a strip club". Where did they go? Some say Canada; others, Toronto. I can only imagine what would have happened had they attended the Las Vegas Tournament. More details to follow.