Thursday, June 22, 2006


From the WTF? Files, it's the Bill O'Reilly Factor for Kids. For fair and balanced potty training, I guess.

Connecticut has passed a "no blowout" policy for all high school football games, that will suspend coaches one game for beating opponents by 50 points or more. This is why the rest of the world is catching up to us, and will eventually leave us in the dust, because we're bringing up a whole generation of kids who won't know how to face adversity, a society where "everyone wins!" This way, when you finally go out in the real world and fail, it will be that much more painful. Brilliant.

Just when I thought the Worldwide Leader In Shit couldn't get any worse, they've managed to sink even lower. I thought Chris Berman doing the U.S. Open on Thursday and Friday was a bad programming decision, but on Monday ESPN2 showed the 2005 World Domino Tournament from The Las Vegas Hilton. Yep, that's a spectator sport. FUCKING DOMINOES.

Corey Haim and Corey Feldman are back again, and this time it's for a TV comedy series. The brilliant name they came up with: The Coreys. Good God, I can't fucking wait. I am definitely getting a TiVo now.

Speaking of the 80s, check out this website of 80s music videos! Gah, this makes my head spin. Since everything needs a list, I'll have to pick my Top 10 from these.

This is bizarre: motorcyclist killed by lightning while driving in rush hour traffic. The best part of this story: they point out that he was wearing a helmet. Uhm, would that have helped? I blame this stupid reporting on that QB guy.

For the ultimate TV loser fanatic: it's DirecTV Titanium package. You can sign up for satellite service that gives you every possible channel, including all PPV movies and events and support for up to 10 DVRs, all for the low, low price of $7500 per year (which breaks down to $625 a month). Great. Yet another status symbol for the ridiculously wealthy who have so much money they can't figure out how to spend it all. I like how the website says "TITANIUM" is a trademark of DirecTV. Funny, because it's already on my periodic table. For that price, the remote should be made of pure titanium.

While we're on this topic, why did the marketing geniuses choose titanium as the "ultimate metal"? What if something better comes along? What's better than titanium? Uranium? Plutonium? Nah, too dangerous. Molybdenum? Nah, too hard to pronounce. I'm going with STRONTIUM. It just sounds cool, and it surely kicks titanium's transition metal ass.

Finally, a blog dedicated to cats that look like Hitler!

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