GAME SEVEN: INSERT YOUR FAVORITE CLICHE HERE

I can't believe I'm saying these words, but the hockey world turns its attention to freaking Raleigh, North Carolina tonight, as the Sabres play the Hurricanes in Game 7 to decide the winner of the Wales (Eastern) Conference. The fact that OLN has exclusive rights to this game means that it will be beaten in the ratings be a live broadcast of a spelling bee. Ugh. At least I'll get it in HD (Dish Network and DirecTV offer every conf. final game in HD, but C-Vision has been picking and choosing, and just happened to choose to show this one tonight).

Meanwhile, the Edmonton Oilers are skating in Greenburgh, New York of all places, to escape their crazy Canadian fans and get focused for the finals (no, the Rangers rink is not in Tarrytown, but close enough--Calgary, Edmonton, same thing, right?). I was thinking about going to open hockey tonight at Palice, but not if Chris Pronger is going to be there. Of course, they take shots at our "inferior ice" at every turn:

By leaving early the team will adjust to a two-hour time change and can also get used to the humid air and skate-stifling slush that passes as late-spring ice . . . Pronger said he'd rather get used to the challenges of playing slush hockey with the team in solitude than stay on Edmonton's better ice basking in the glory of the team's Western Conference title win.

Goddam condescending Canucks. By the way, this is the first week there's been any heat/humidity in New York, it's not like you're skating in Mexico City. And excuse us for living outside the Arctic Circle, where we're looked down upon because we can't host outdoor hockey games in March. A perfect solution to this problem was postulated by Vertullo: start the season in August. This way, get the season over by April 1st; the ice will be better, and your ratings won't be affected by the baseball season or the NBA playoffs. Oh, and if your team is in a hot climate and you can't get the ice to freeze in July/August, your team has to move to a colder city. Makes perfect sense to me.

(BTW, the Campbell Cup winners are in 'New York's backyard', so doesn't this seem like a good opportunity for the sports reporters to get some exclusive interviews? How much do you want to bet they don't, and instead get another shitty quote from Larry Brown?)

So anyway, it should be a good game tonight as these two teams will let it all hang out. I just heard that Jay McKee is out with a "freak infection", so it will be an uphill battle for Buffalo (do they have any defensemen left?). Enjoy the Carolina slush hockey!