RUFF LOVE

The NHL regular season awards have been . . . awarded, and they showed Lindy some Ruff love, as he edged Peter Laviolette by one point to win the Adams Trophy for Coach of the Year. I'm sure Lindy would rather have his name on the Cup.

I agree with most of the awards, except for the Joe Thornton one. He didn't start playing until Boston dealt him to San Jose, so it wasn't him that carried that team, like Jagr carried the Rangers (he was voted by the players as the Lester B. Pearson winner). Plus, Thorny looks a little too damn happy in those pictures, considering he let the Oilers slap his ass out of the playoffs just last month.

Here's the list of 2005-06 NHL winners (my blognostications in parentheses):

HART (MVP): Thornton, SJ (Jagr, NYR)
CALDER (ROOKIE): Ovechkin, WAS
LADY BYNG (MOST GENTLEMANLY): Datsyuk, DET (Richards, TB)
SELKE (DEFENSIVE FORWARD): Brind'Amour, CAR
NORRIS (BEST DEFENSEMAN): Lidstrom, DET
VEZINA (GOALIE): Kiprusoff, CGY (Brodeur, NJ)
MASTERSON: Selanne, SJ (Yzerman, DET)
ADAMS (COACH): Lindy Ruff, BUF

Meanwhile, the Hurricanes victory parade consisted of driving the Cup around in pickup trucks around the arena. Yee haw! And I thought the Devils' parking lot celebrations were lame! Oh wait, they were. I heard some "'Caniacs" planned to riot and loot in downtown Raleigh, and then they realized that there isn't really much of a downtown. So they harrassed the waitstaff at Chili's instead. And they did "We Are The Champions" on the karaoke! That was insane.

In other news, the NHL approved the sale of the St. Louis Blues and their arena to a group led by former MSG president Dave Checketts. So it's only a matter of time before NY Rangers color commentator John Davidson takes a job down there. Best of luck, JD!

As predicted, the no-longer-Mighty Ducks changed their name, and they dumped the teal and purple for a rather boring black and gold motif.

Oh, and the Onion is all over the Stanley Cup stuff. They're the best:

Carolina Residents Confused, Terrified As Victorious Hurricane Players Riot In Streets

...North Carolina Gov. Michael Easley mobilized the National Guard to contain over two dozen members of what he described as "some sort of depraved, violent, heretofore unheard-of gang calling themselves as the Hurricanes."

"We couldn't believe what was happening," said Sam Weber, owner of Playmakers, a Raleigh sports bar. "I still don't understand it. We had a decent crowd here to watch the 1982 North Carolina vs. Georgetown NCAA Championship game on ESPN Classic when out of nowhere a lamppost comes crashing through the front window. Then these huge pasty white guys, all wearing, like, matching sweaters, run in screaming like madmen and holding this giant planter over their heads, which they demanded I fill with beer.

"I had never seen a scarier group of people," said Raleigh resident Max Sherwood, who was enjoying a quiet, calm Raleigh evening in the park with his mother. "They all had scraggily looking beards and they reeked of sweat and alcohol. They were screaming things like 'We fucking did it!' and 'Stanley!' When I politely asked them who Stanley was and not to cuss in front of my mother, well, that's when they came after us."

Sherwood suffered a mild concussion as well as facial lacerations after being forced to drink warm champagne out of "some type of weird birdbath."

"I still do not understand exactly what caused these 'Hurricanes' to hold their strange celebration in our streets. But I think I speak for all of North Carolina when I say I hope that they never repeat whatever it is again."

SEE YA NEXT YEAR, NHL (if they actually have a TV deal)!