2006 NLCS GAME 7: QUASI LIVE BLOG (PART 1)

I thought I'd blog some random thoughts as this game progresses, so one day I can look back on it and, oh who knows. I'll probably never read this again. So let's get it started.

I decided to watch the first 20 minutes of LOST instead of the FOX pregame crap. I think I made the right choice. Locke is the best character on this show, and I would rather see one of his fake hair flashbacks than see Kevin Kennedy's real mustache in HD. Call me crazy. Wait, there are two polar bears?

TOP 1ST. Ollie vs. The Soup Nazi! We have Mets "Rally Rags" as the giveaway today, or whatever they're called. They're oddly mesmerizing. Great, now Shea looks like every other dumb stadium crowd.
Bad 2 out error by Delgado on a pop up in front of the mound, but it didn't hurt them.
Perez does that "jumping over the foul line" thing like Turk Wendell. Egads, I'm having flashbacks to 2000. Not good.

BOTTOM 1ST. I have nothing to say about Suppan. He's a blank slate. I have no jokes, not even soup related ones.
Nice 2 out 2B by Beltran, even nicer slide.
Big spot for David Wright, 1st and 2nd. BTW, the hottest girls at Shea wear his jerseys, to which Karl replied "They're all looking for Mr. Wright." I set him up for that joke. Dink shot to right, base hit, Carlos B. scores, 1-0 Mets!

TOP 2ND. Joe Schmuck said that Scott Rolen doesn't talk to Tony "I Wear My Sunglasses At Night" LaRussa. What a pair of douchebags.
Cards pull out "The Safety Squeeze", a song made famous in the 80s by Men Without Hats. 1-1 tie.
Perez is already shaky. He's driving me crazy, so it's time to check on "The Office".

BOTTOM 2ND. I watched Jim & Pam talk on the phone, and they nailed that "awkward phone call between two people with unresolved feelings towards each other". I've had about 74 calls like that in my life. Jim needs to bang that multiracial Justine Bateman chick in the Stamford office, and then drive over to Scranton and nail Pam on the weekends. He deserves it.

TOP 3RD. Double play to end the inning by Encarnacion. THAT'S WHY YOU WALK POO HOLES.

BOTTOM 3RD. Devils are losing to Nashville, mainly because Clemmenson is in goal. Yeah, I just switched to hockey, what are you going to do about it? Islanders are losing 2-0 to Pittsburgh. What is DiPietro's GAA, a 5.00? Although, they went on a mini-winning streak with Dunham. Coincidence?

TOP 4TH. I think I missed an entire inning. Nothing happened. Most unlikely hero for each team: Preston Wilson, and Shawn Green. The latter uses "Be Yourself" by Audioslave for his intro music, but back when he was hitting HRs he used Rage Against the Machine and Soundgarden. Coincidence?

BOTTOM 4TH. Schmuck and McCracker are talking about socks. Not White Sox, not Red Sox, but sanitary sox. FOX on SOX! Good lord, I hate them. If this goes 14 innings, I'm driving off the Tappan Zee bridge.
Hey FOX, stop showing the "DIRT CAM", it looks like CRAP! Especially on my HDTV.
The in-game interview is the worst FOX invention yet, but at least Tony "Elwood Blues" LaRussa took off the shades. Wait, but now you can't bluff like Chris Moneymaker! I hate that I know that. Fuck you and your poker, ESPN.
Jose "Rican Rhapsody" Valentin takes it on the chin--LITERALLY. I kill me.
A light mist is falling as the inning ends. I'm praying for a rain delay. Shoot me now.

TOP 5TH. 2 on for the Ollie, I hope he doesn't get rattled now. Preston Wilson just struck out for the 3rd time, and Pooooooooo pops it up to end it. The O.P. gets through 5 innings, 1 ER. Wow.