IS THE TIKI BAR CLOSING?

Man, it's been a crappy week. Along with the Mets finally succumbing to the mighty bats of the Cardinals (seriously, you guys have an awesome juggernaut of a team, relying on Yadier Molina to get it done, way to go, Tigers in 5), here's another bit of depressing news: Tiki Barber is leaning towards retiring after this NFL season. The worst part of it? He's thinking about persuing a television career. Really, that's all you've got? Are you sure you don't want to become an astronaut for the Mars mission, open a cancer research center, or become a nuclear scientist? I'd rather he pulled a Ricky Williams and say he wanted to "find himself" (which turned out to be "find himself the best marijuana in the entire world"). Say it ain't so, Teek!

Some are writing it off as a "non-story" or as a "contract negotiation tactic", but I don't think so. This comes as a shock to me. Right now, at the age of 31 he seems to be at the peak of his career. At a time when most running backs seem to be breaking down (Larry Johnson, Cadillac, Portis, Edgerrin), he's in phenomenal shape and could easily produce for years to come.

By all accounts, Tiki's a fairly intelligent guy, and it probably kills him to have to hang out with dumbass football players all the time. But there's nothing further from highbrow than having to hang out with sports broadcasters. I understand not wanting to get pummeled 30-40 times a week by chemically enraged 275 pound linebackers, but willingly trading analysis and witticisms with the likes of Michael Irvin and Terry Bradshaw might be a worse psychological beating.

Former Giants QB Phil Simms said it best: "Life after football is long. In fact, my wife now wants me to TALK TO HER FOR HOURS ON END, and I have no idea what we're even discussing half the time. Luckily, she bought the excuse that I'm physically unable to cuddle due to my various football-related surgeries." Well, maybe I'm paraphrasing a bit but you get the idea.

All I can say is that I hope you're sure about this Tiki (if you're reading this). If so, please let me know so I can hurry up and buy my Fathead poster.

Now unlike Favre this year and Bettis last year, the media can SHUT UP ABOUT THIS until the end of the season, and let's play some football.