MAXIM'S HOCKEY'S TOUGHEST BASTARDS

Maxim magazine has compiled a list of Hockey's Toughest Bastards. Here it is:

15. Gino Odjick
I guess he gets on this list because of the cool "The Maniwaki Mauler" nickname. Fair enough.
14. Doug Jarvis
Yes, he played in 964 consecutive games, but he's not a "tough guy".
13. Todd Bertuzzi
Of course, he's only going to be remembered for his Insane in the Zidane cheap shot of Steve Moore.
12. Doug Gilmour
Again, whoever made this list must like nicknames (his was "Killer"). I'm not buying it.
11. Wendel Clark. When they were both Maple Leaves, he made Gilmour as tough as he was, so they cancel each other out.
10. Dave Semenko
"Gretzky's bodyguard". If that's true, he did a hell of a job.
9. Peter Forsberg
What? This is where the list started to lose me. He shouldn't even be in the top 1000. Plus, it seems like he's made out of glass nowadays (currently on the DL).
8. Billy Smith
Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Battlin' Billy was a crazy bastard, but a goalie at #8?
7. Gordie Howe
Absolutely. Why not higher? He also played hockey (in some form) in 6 straight decades.
6. Maurice Richard
5. Bob Probert
No argument there. I don't want Bob pissed at me.
4. Bob Baun
Scoring the winning goal after fracturing your ankle: now THAT'S a hockey player, but not this high.
3. Scott Stevens
Now, being a Devils fan I'm a bit biased, but I thought he should have been #1. So that means the top 2 are going to be real badasses, right? Right?
2. Mark Messier
Okay, a Rangers fan made this list, there's no doubt. Because he "guaranteed a win", he gets a tough bastard award? I don't think so. Yes, the Captain was a resilient leader, and a prolific point scorer, but not the 2nd "toughest" of all-time.
1. Mario Lemieux
Are you kidding me? He shouldn't even be on this list! Recovering from non-Hodgekin's lymphoma is pretty impressive, but not a criteria for naming someone #1. If it wasn't for guys like Ulf Samuelsson protecting him, he'd be nothing.

It's interesting that guys like Tie Domi, Bobby Clarke, Clark Gilles, Stu Grimson or Darius KasparMINUS aren't on here. I'd even put Ryan Smith on there before freaking Mario. What a crap list, especially the top player on it. What would you expect from Maxim, one of the most moronic magazines out there? It's clear they know next to nothing about hockey.

Try this list out instead: Hockey's Tough Guys