HELLO, NUMMINEN?

The Sabres are on the chopping block tonight in Game 6, as one more loss to Carolina will eliminate them from the playoffs. I don't know how they came up with this number, but scienticians working around the clock have calculated that there's an 80% chance we'll say "Hello, Numminen" tonight. How did they determine that we can only wonder. Some other things that Buffalo needs to do tonight:

• Get an actual goal from Maxim Can't-finish-genov
• Do better on the power play (their 0-4 Game 5 performance ain't cutting it)
• Score more goals, while giving up less
• Put Stick-Em on McKee's stick so goals stop deflecting off of it into their own goal
• Take the bawdy!

Salo gives them a huge thumbs up, saying he's "semi-confident" that they'll win tonight, only to lose Game 7 to Rod "Bit o' Love" Brind'Amour* & Co. on Thursday. Wow, that's a Sabres fan for you, who's been Bit in the ass on many occasions (just ask Michael Peca about Game 6 in 1999). I just hope they extend the series so we don't get another showing of "Youngblood". You don't want to read my review. It's not pretty.

* He should shorten his name to "Rod Love". After retiring from the NHL, he could always go into porn.

UPDATE: HELLO, NUMMINEN! He's in there on D (Harpo? Zeppo?), and the Sabes have a 1-0 lead after one period. They are absolutely FLYING, playing inspired hockey. Oh, thanks Cablevision for not showing it in HD. Assholes.

Rumors of him taking the Blues GM job already have been greatly exaggerated: John Davidson has rejoined Doc Emrick in the booth for Game 6, after being mysteriously absent for the past few games (replaced by Eddie Olczyk). Here's my theory: he told OLN for the Conference Finals that he'd go to games in Buffalo and Edmonton, but screw Carolina. Just a thought. That's what I would do if I was JD.