Wednesday, May 24, 2006


• Trucks that sit 20 feet behind the stop line and block an entire intersection, while you sit behind them and honk your horn and they don't move. Yet when you try to go around them, that's when they suddenly move and honk their horn, as if you're the idiot.

• The guy at the Carolina Hurricane hockey games that raises his arms up at completely random and inappropriate times during the game, seemingly just so he can get arms in the camera shot. I envision him having his friends over to watch the replay, saying "There's my hand! See it? There it is again! Watch closely, during this meaningless cross-ice outlet pass, there's my hand again!"

• People who spend way too much time shopping for a toothbrush. Save yourself valuable time and buy the one that comes free with the toothpaste, and stop clogging up the aisle!

• The Chinese kidnapping Jack Bauer on the season finale of 24. Why do they have to ruin everything?

• People who send a racehorse get well cards and food, when they probably wouldn't do the same for a human being suffering the same hardship.

• Co-workers who look at your phone's caller ID display while it's ringing, even though it's none of their fucking business who's calling you.

• Cell phone companies, who have all conspired to: 1) make you pay for minutes you never use, 2) charge you to check your own voicemail, 3) make you sign 2 year long agreements (and charge you $150 for breaking it), 4) charge full price for phones if you happen to break it or lose it during the agreement. Any other phone company that would make you do the above would be out of business.

• The new TGIFriday's commercial, featuring four carnivorous friends who are way too excited about their meat (Steak! Pork! Ribs!). They are markedly less enthusiastic about their friend's "vegetable medley", until he succumbs to peer pressure and whips out his sausage! Horrible, moronic, annoying, not to mention a little phallic and homoerotic--I would expect nothing less from a crap-slinging eatery like TGIFriday's.

• Those who come up with things like "mobile phone episodes" of TV shows, and on top of that, call them "mobisodes". Ugh.

• People who don't think monkeys are funny. Personally, I'm thinking of renting the MVP "Most Valuable Primate" trilogy for the long M-Day weekend.

• People who refer to sacred holidays like "Memorial Day" using the abbreviation "M-Day".

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