HORSEPLAY

Here are my uneagerly awaited Top 5 horses (in alphabetical order) for today's 132nd Kentucky Derby presented by YUM! Brands* (odds from morning line):

#10 A.P. Warrior (15:1)
#8 Barbaro (4:1)
#7 Bob and John (12:1)
#5 Point Determined (12:1)
#11 Sweetnorthernsaint (10:1)

If you include these horses in your exacta bets, they're guaranteed to win money (NOT A GUARANTEE). Even though it's a dry track this year, my favorite horses are muddlers. Speaking of, please excuse me while I go julep myself into oblivion. May the horse be with you.

(I think I just like doing this stuff just to see how utterly wrong I was afterwards; I know nothing about horses.)

*Oh, and I wish I was kidding about the sponsor, which is responsible for KFC, Long John Silver's, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut (beware of their use of horse meat).

UPDATE (6:24 PM): Barbaro wins by 7 lengths, with Bluegrass Cat placing, and Steppenwolfer riding the magic carpet to show. Yeah, I predicted that. Sort of.