TUESDAY TIMEKILLER™: EARTH DAY IDEAS

HAPPY EARTH DAY, EVERYONE!


We here at the ever socially-conscious OPEN HOCKEY BLOG have decided that we are going to do everything we can to pitch in and help become more "green" and "reduce our carbon footprint" and "environmental catch-phrase". Here are a few things we came up with:

☺ When I hit a bucket of golf balls, I will retrieve each one personally instead of making the driving range workers drive around and pick them up. (Jeff K)

☺ I will fill my car up with fuel made from food, thus simultaneously saving the planet and starving a dozen African children that are infesting its surface. (Rob)

☺ I will run my HPLC at 0.99 mL/min today instead of 1.00, which is well within the acceptable limits as outlined in our standard operating procedures, to save 3.24 mL of H2O today. (Jeff K)

☺ I will watch hockey by candlelight, and turn off the HDTV/surround sound receiver between periods. (Jeff K)

☺ I will eat as much beef as possible because my understanding is that those bastards output a lot of methane. (Kris)

☺ I will only flip off asshole drivers in non-hybrid vehicles. (Jeff K)

☺ I will drive to the mall and purchase compact fluorescent light bulbs. When the store doesn't have the right ones, I will drive to the other nearby Target store where hopefully they have some in stock. The lines will be annoyingly long so I will end up driving to Home Depot instead, unless I find that Lowe's has a cheaper price. When I get home, I will replace the current working light bulbs I have only to find that not only does it take a half hour for the CFs to light up the room, but that I hate the sterile glow they give off. On top of that, my lamp shade no longer fits correctly due to the bulb's odd shape. I will put the CFs in my closet to be used only in an emergency. (Jeff K)

☺ I’ll try to make my "carbon footprint" more like this. (Rob)



☺ I will turn out the lights in one of the offices here and take a hearty nap, thus saving electricity and decreasing my O2 consumption/CO2 emissions. (Rob)

☺ Instead of wasting precious fossil fuels to cook my dinner, I will cook a chicken over the natural glow of my neighbor's burning shed. (Jeff K)

☺ Replace my 47 hp Briggs & Stratton 2-cycle oil and gas-powered alarm clock with a more conventional plug-in type. (Rob)

☺ I will walk to the restaurant for lunch and eat only recycled sushi. (Jeff K)

☺ Read nytimes.com directly from the monitor screen each day instead of printing out every story in 48 point extra bold font on cotton bond paper. (Rob)

☺ I will only listen to CDs featuring musicians that employ acoustic instrumentation instead of those with wasteful electric guitars and synthesizers. (Jeff K)

☺ I will print out instructions from several dozens of "green" websites regarding the proper way to plant a tree. (Jeff K)

☺ I will reduce my carbon footprint by wearing heels and not walking through soot. (karl)

☺ I will throw out my current car (which runs fine, gets about 35 MPG and has completely amortized the carbon footprint from its manufacture) for a brand new Prius (nickel in the batteries, shipped from Japan, brand-new materials BUT gets up to 55 MPG). Because we all know we can't save the earth by driving sensibly (and consuming less); we can only save the earth by shoving our awesome environmental consciousness in the face of our neighbors. (Take that Flanders!) (Kris)