WRIST SHOTS: PHANEUF'S ENUFF

So after Day 1 of the NHL playoffs, the teams I chose to win their respective playoff series are an astonishing 1-3. Again, I stress this point: do not use this blog for gambling purposes.

Game 1 - Rangers 4, Devils 1. What can I say? This was a close game most of the way, scoreless after the 1st with each team ringing one off the pipes, and 1-1 after the 2nd, and Avery deservedly getting hit in the face with a puck deflected off of Brodeur's stick. Henrik was solid, and Marty gave up a quickie to open the scoring (okay, not technically the 1st minute of the 2nd, but awfully close, and right after they killed a penalty). Not on the score sheet but very important: Drury won 14 of 18 faceoffs. In the end, the Strangers got the job done thanks to a Callahan shorty, and the Devils looked simply listless at home. Even if they manage a home split on Friday, it doesn't look good. So much for home ice (which, as I predicted, was infested by over 30% Rangers fans).

The refs have already set a tone in this series, and it's this: Sean Avery is allowed to bump into Brodeur whenever he damn well pleases. Even though just brushing up against a goalie in the regular season drew a "goalie interference" penalty, they're just going to look the other way now. On the other hand, when the Devils defense tries to clear out their crease of detritis, they get called for "interference" (Martin at 19:43 of the 1st, which was technically Drury diving like a European soccer player bitch). Because of this horseshit, for Game 2 you're going to have someone try to railroad Avery as soon as he steps on the ice, and he'll get into a fight heightening his powers of douchebaggery, thus leading to him scoring TWO goals. Well done, guys.

Oh, and fuck you, CBS Sportsline. There's no such thing as a "hat trick of assists". Now you're just making shit up. Sportsline, you are on notice. I'm not linking to you shitheads for the rest of the playoffs. (UPDATE: They changed the headline since last night, so they must have read my complaints. But they're still on notice.)

Game 1 - Calgary 3, San Jose 2. This one makes me want to Yelle, as I see my Stanley Cup pick (Sharks) go down in Flames. Just one note: Phaneuf is currently banging puck bunny/actress Elisha Cuthbert, who is working her way up the hockey fuckchain (younger, bigger contract). She's going to be stuffed with Phaneuf tonight!

Game 1 - Ottawa 0, Sidsburgh 4. MAF tallies a shutout. Now I've seen everything.

Game 1 - Colorado 3, Minnesota 2 (OT). It didn't take long to get our first OT game of the playoffs, and it was a doozy. Joe Sakic celebrated his 50th birthday (well, almost) by scoring the winner, his 8th career playoff OT goal (two more than the next guy, Rocket Richard).

Ex-Devils that scored tonight that the current Devils could have used: Shanahan (1G), Rolston (1A), Gomez (3A), Sykora (1G).

Programming note: Cablefuckingvision couldn't get VERSUS HD to work for most of the Sidsburgh game, which actually prompted me to call them. All I wanted to do is inform them that the channel was dropping out and choppy, but they first needed my name, phone number, address, account number, date of birth, etc. Even when I provided that they STILL couldn't find the account info. Dammit, just fix the damn thing! They eventually did--with about 5 minutes left in the game. At that point, the MSG/MSG+ feeds started to crap out so I just turned off the TV completely. This was the first time all year that VERSUS HD has crapped out--fantastic timing. And after all that I was convinced that they throttled the bandwidth on VERSUS HD to ensure a stellar picture on MSG. Dolan, go die in a fire.

Tonight, the games which should be on VERSUS HD will be pre-empted by golf. No, Golf Channel HD can't show people at the Masters playing golf, it's just going to be people talking about golf, in prime time, in standard definition.

Screw you, I'm taking a break from hockey and watching "The Office".